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In Part
1 of this series, I introduced you to Announce It!, an online
candy-bar-wrapper manufacturer that was seeking professional help
with their search engine copywriting. Facing an audience that consisted
primarily of women who were purchasing favors for special occasions,
Announce It!'s copy had to be spot-on with its communication. The
primary problems were that the copy did not convey a sense of excitement
or answer all the questions customers might have. It also focused
too heavily on the company rather than communicating with the site
visitor.
Let's see how
the changes were worked into the copy and what the results were.
The
Rewrite
You can see
the original copy at http://www.copywritingcourse.com/customcandybarwrapper-original.pdf
and the revised copy at http://www.copywritingcourse.com/customcandybarwrapper-new.pdf
Headlines are
one of the most important elements of advertising copy and of search
engine optimization. The original web page didn't have any type
of headline -- a fundamental mistake that needed to be corrected.
The introduction of the text now begins with using a keyphrase and
stating a benefit. The headline reads:
Creative,
Custom Candy-bar Wrappers
Designed To Make Your Event a Hit!
Since Announce
It!'s keyphrases all deal with candy-bar wrappers, it's obvious
that visitors who find this site are already familiar with the general
product. (At least to the point of knowing what a custom candy-bar
wrapper is.) The question they still have is, "Why should I
buy from Announce It! instead of all the other candy-bar-wrapper
sites?"
As the visitors
read on through the copy, they find reassurance that their idea
of using custom-designed candy-bar wrappers is a good one. Visitors
are also provided with several benefits available from Announce
It! that other companies don't offer. For the sake of scan-ability,
bullet points are used to further highlight differentiating factors
about Announce It!. (Low minimum orders, free color proofs, free
photo inclusion, etc.) This all helps to clearly explain why this
site is the better choice over others the visitor may have gone
to previously.)
Because the
product itself is graphic, it was important to retain the product
images used on the original home page. Certainly, customers would
expect to see samples of the wrappers. However, to create a greater
impact, each image was captioned with a short bit of occasion-specific,
persuasive, keyword-rich copy. For instance:
"Custom
candy wrappers are a truly creative way to send your retiree off
in style."
The finished
product now speaks directly to the site visitor, sounds more professional,
outlines important benefits and uses keyphrases in an appropriate
way so as not to hinder the natural flow of the copy.
The
Results
The results
showed improvements in both conversions and rankings. According
to Announce It! their conversion rate quadrupled! They also report,
"[The copy] has really made a difference in the way the site
is perceived and how the customer reacts. I have gone from a one-person
operation to a full-fledged business with five employees. The traffic
and orders continue to increase every year!"
You couldn't
ask for much better than that!
Copy not getting
results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and
your visitors with Karon's Copywriting Course at http://www.copywritingcourse.com
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