Marketing Words Copywriting Blog

Back at the beginning of the year I was approached by a company who wanted new home page copy written. I looked over their site and asked if they were interested in improving conversions overall. Of course, they answered yes. I noted several glaring mistakes they were making in their conversion path and told them the cost for working out the kinks on several key pages. “We’ll just take the home page copy.” I agreed to write it, but told them that they needed to eventually have me or someone else fix the rest of the things that were surely hindering conversions. They said they would, but - here it is May - and they haven’t.

In cases like this, where there are problems other than copy, how do you know whether or not the copy is working unless you track the changes? The copy could be doing its job, but the other inherent problems with the conversion path may very well be counteracting the improvements.

For example, your home page copy could be performing by driving visitors to fill out a contact form. But a lengthy form with unnecessary fields, no security assurances or other common mistakes may sabotage any gains new copy might offer.

So how do you tell what’s working and what’s not? Look for mini-conversion points. In this case, the immediate conversion for the home page was one of two things: Call an agent or complete the online form. Focus just on those two tasks and track clicks to the form vs. completed forms filled out as well as how many leads phoned a live agent after visiting the website.

Once you determine whether the copy is working or not, move on to fix any additional issues such as poor telephone service or ill-designed forms. By taking it one step at the time, you’ll quickly see where the mistakes lie.

Karon Thackston is author of the Step by Step Copywriting Course and other SEO copywriting ebooks. Buy them online at http://www.copywritingcourse.com/order.html. Don’t forget to subscribe to Karon’s copywriting blog at http://www.marketingwords.com/blog.

Honestly, yesterday was one of those days. To top it all off, my printer died. Just died… dead. There were no symptoms. It was fine in the morning and blinking and jerking and frozen in the afternoon. After a quick call to the repair shop I immediately found out that printers are disposable! It was going to cost more to fix it than to buy a new one. So, the search began.

I didn’t actually pay attention to what I was doing until the whole thing was over with. But then the steps of my buying process came to my memory. Discovering how I behaved and why was very interesting. I’ll walk you through and you can see how the copywriting I ran into along the way was helpful (sometimes) and what actually made a difference to sway me from one product to another.

My first stop was the Consumer Reports magazine. I’m a big fan. As timing would have it, they’d just reviewed printers and all-in-ones in last month’s issue. The printer I was replacing was an Epson and I’d loved it so I started with the Epson brand fresh in my mind. I was open to other brands, but Epson would be my first choice if all other factors were equal. My previous printer lasted 8 years surprisingly and I truly felt I’d gotten my money’s worth.

After looking at the reviews and reading the commentary on printers and all-in-ones, I saw two that I liked. One was an Epson and one was a Cannon. I knew nothing about Cannon except for their reputation as a camera manufacturer. So with those two all-in-ones in mind, I took my next step.

I went to the Circuit City website first. Why? Because they have a location about 8 miles from me. It would have been simple enough to go down and pick up a new printer if they had what I was looking for. I would have rather not waited for a printer to be shipped.

As I clicked through the site, I scrolled right past the “Top Selling Printers” section at the beginning of the page and down to the Cannon section. I went to the model listed in Consumer Reports and read what the product description said. The Cannon copy started with bullet points which I found helpful somewhat, but a few of the ones they included were a waste of valuable space. For instance, the number of pages per minute was useful information, but telling me that it has a USB connection wasn’t. I think pretty much everybody assumes these days that everything connects with USB plugs. The Epson copy included dpi capabilities as well as noting the 48-bit scanner and PC-free printing.

They had a package deal where you could add a cable and paper for $24, but that didn’t really impact me as I already had several USB cables and didn’t need the paper.

The features? Almost identical. The customer ratings? A 4.1 (out of 5) and a 4.2. What was the tiebreaker? The end results included in Epson’s product details copy. For instance, Epson’s copy didn’t just list features, it gave examples of what I could do with the product. Reduce and enlarge copies. Send multiple-page faxes automatically while I worked on other things. Optimize, correct and crop photos on the built-in display so they were perfect once I printed them. Restore faded color photos. It just kept coming. Because I could see myself using this product in so many ways, I opted for the Epson.

Would the Cannon do the same things? Probably. But they didn’t connect with me through their copy. Epson created a visual image of me working with their all-in-one. I saw the end results of buying this product. Cannon just listed features fluffed up by hokey language like “ultra-versatile.”

Features are great. Benefits are better. But showing your visitors the end results of buying your products and services is invaluable.

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Want Karon to write copy for you? Visit http://www.marketingwords.com.
Rather learn to write copy yourself? Check out Karon’s copywriting course at http://www.copywritingcourse.com.

“Who are your competitors?”

“I really don’t have any.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had conversations that began this way.  Let me introduce you to a new way of thinking.  ANY option that would prevent customers from buying your products or using your services should be considered a competitor.  Why?  Because it prevents you from making the sale.

That means taking no action at all is a competitor.  If you operate an auto dealership, motorcycles could be considered competitors (especially with such high gas prices in the U.S. right now) if customers drive them instead of a car.   Weight loss products… not only are you competing against other diet programs, you’re also competing against surgical procedures, over-the-counter and grocery store supplements and products AND the option of not losing any weight because the customer has decided it’s all too complicated and difficult.   Tax preparers compete with each other, with CPAs, with software programs and with those who have always done it themselves “manually.”

Before you are too quick to answer the question “Who are your competitors” with “nobody” think again.  Name all the other options available to your customers besides buying from you.  That’s your list of competitors.  And that’s the list you’ll need to address when writing your copy.

Need an SEO copywriter that gets excellent results consistently? Karon Thackston writes SEO copy.  Visit http://www.marketingwords.com.
Want to learn to write SEO copy yourself?  Buy Karon’s ebooks at http://www.copywritingcourse.com.

While I won’t go into detail (because some people have queasy stomachs), I will tell you that my mom was hospitalized last week for some pretty serious stuff. (Please forgive the lack of blog posts over the last few days.) She’ll be fine, thank God, and should come home after a few more days. As a copywriter, I always notice the advertising side of everything That aspect of my nature certainly held true during her ordeal.

When Mom was admitted, we were sent to an ordinary, tiny little hospital room. Plain off-white walls, about a 10-foot x 10-foot floor plan (at least that’s what it felt like) and a cramped atmosphere. It was very clean, but very small. Almost immediately I began to remember this hospital’s television commercials that began to run last year.

They identified a need for a segment of their target audience and were addressing it through ads. The ads were geared toward the family of the patient. In the old section of the hospital, you got tiny rooms with two chairs crammed in the corners. If you had to spend the night, you’d sleep in this perfectly lovely <sarcasm> recliner thingee that was about as comfortable as your average lawn chair. For those accommodating children or older people who needed a family member with them constantly, it would be a real chore to “live” in these rooms for very long.

But, after my mother’s surgery, she was moved to a surgical floor in the new section. Wow! This is what the commercials were all about. They showed pictures of large rooms (twice or three times the size of the others) with big windows and fold-out beds. There was plenty of room to walk around, nicely painted walls with soothing colors, solid-surface counter tops with integrated sinks, comfortable chairs for visitors and more. Impressive! The copy in the TV spots did an excellent job of letting anyone who had stayed (or would be staying) with a patient envious. Knowing that this facility has wonderful doctors and modern equipment, I would certainly ask to be taken here if I needed hospitalization or had an emergency. I’d also be quick to ask for a room in the new section <snicker>.

Addressing the most common complaints of caregivers and family members via copywriting was a smart move on this hospital’s part. I’d venture to say I’m not the only one who has been thrilled to see all the improvements they’ve made over the last 10-12 months.

Need copywriting that impresses your visitors and the search engines? Visit Karon’s site at http://www.marketingwords.com.
Subscribe to Karon’s copywriting blog at http://www.marketingwords.com/blog.

By Karon Thackston © 2008, All Rights Reserved

“But how do you do it?” That was a question I was asked by a prospective client the other day. While he was a good writer, he was frustrated with trying to use the data he’d collected on his customers to make an emotional connection. If you know where to look, you can easily find clues about what people are feeling. Once you discover that, making the connection is simple. Let’s use weight loss as an example.

Evaluate Your Customers

While some things about your customers may be obvious, you’ll get much better results if you actually evaluate or research your visitors in some way. You can perform exit surveys on your site, send out an email asking customers to participate in a quick study or use other means to collect data.

Always read your customer feedback with care. Never discount information because it might not have been what you were expecting. Honest, constructive criticism can open the door to new ideas, products and/or services. Also, study your testimonials. Is there a trend? Do most people compliment you on the same thing(s). If so, those elements are evidently very important to them.

Research your customers’ lifestyles as well as basic demographics. In other words, knowing that your visitors are primarily women between the ages of 50-60 who make over $60,000 per year is nice. However, it does not reveal that they are approaching retirement and trying to save money wherever they can for fear of not having enough. It also doesn’t tell you that their doctors recently told these women their cholesterol and blood pressure was getting too high (probably due to steady weight gain year after year).

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Once you’ve collected the data, put yourself in your customers’ shoes for a day. Don’t just read over the findings in a methodical manner: actually think about what the findings mean. Go back to the paragraph above. Let’s dissect those bits of information.

…women between the ages of 50-60 who make over $60,000 per year, approaching retirement and trying to save money wherever they can for fear of not having enough, doctors recently told them their cholesterol and blood pressure was getting too high (probably due to steady weight gain year after year).

What if you were in this situation? What would you be feeling? “Just great! Now all that extra money I’ve been trying to put toward paying down the mortgage is going to have to go to some expensive weight loss program. Or worse yet… I’ll have to go on high-priced medication forever and put up with all those quirky side effects. Most of the time, months later, the news reports always say these pills don’t work or can possibly kill you! I don’t want that. My only other choice is to try to lose the weight. I don’t know how to do it alone so I’m going to have to join a program. That’s just perfect. Approaching retirement and I’m going to be a slave to the calorie counter. Good grief!”

Not a good situation, is it? You don’t really want to find or participate in a weight loss program, do you? So, for someone in this state of mind, what could the copy say that would be persuasive and would speak to them on their level?

• It’s easy
• Everything is prepackaged and pre-counted
• It’s affordable
• You get quick results
• Your health improves as you lose weight
• It gives you more energy
• Introductory program saves you money
• Others have seen blood pressure and cholesterol drop within just 4 weeks

There are lots more. All these features could be worked into your copy along with the appropriate benefits and end results to clearly show these women that your weight loss program is right for them. Whatever you do, don’t forget the vital step of adding benefits and end results to these features!

You could even create a “pre-retirement” package designed to help lower blood pressure and cholesterol and boost energy along with losing weight so women have better health and more get-up-and-go for the years to come. Give it a discounted price and toss in some supplements and you’ve got a tailored package these women would probably love.

The whole idea is to learn the who, what, when, where and why of your site visitors. Once you understand what emotional state visitors are in and which emotional level they are on, you’ll be able to create copy that is highly effective.

Learn to write emotionally-driven SEO copywriting with Karon’s Copywriting Course at http://www.copywritingcourse.com. Read Karon’s copywriting blog at http://www.marketingwords.com/blog.