Subscribers to my Marketing Words Newsletter get the added bonus of submitting one web page for possible review. Then my collection of web experts and I point out trouble spots the site owner can correct in order to get better rankings and conversions.
This month’s feature is a category page from Orlando Vacation Store.
From Justin Deville, Receptional.com
It’s worth starting by recapping on what’s likely to be working well on the page. There’s a lot of good stuff going on. I’m new to your business but I quickly understood what you sell and how to get it. Great.
It was also good to see that:
- You’re using a great image that explains your product in an instant
- There are loads of testimonials. You also use trust signals to underline your ‘social proof’
- You offer alternative methods for getting in touch
- There’s a great secondary call to action (for your newsletter). Which means that even if a visitor isn’t yet ready to buy, there’s a chance you’ll capture some contact details so you can continue the conversation
- I love the way the design supports the main call to action button (there’s an arrow pointing right at it – who could fail to see it?)
- The limited time offer gives an urgency to your marketing. Very few tactics are as successful as a limited time offer
At Receptional, the digital agency I work for, we run conversion rate optimisation tests for a variety of clients. Given all the good work that’s happening, I’d be interested in testing a variation of the page to see whether we can improve the conversion rate.
I’d suggest looking at other landing pages in your market – particularly from sites that get lots of traffic and are likely to run lots of tests. These pages are likely to be working well and, it’s often possible to pick up ideas for improving your own landing pages.
It’s also worth looking at other markets too (so you can avoid the ‘me-too’ attitude that exists in some industries – everyone copies each other and no-one innovates). Here is an example of the LoveFilm landing page as it appears in the UK (Jan 2014). It’s a great example of how to use an image to sell a product – while at the same time using text to reinforce the key sales points.
You’ll notice that the image is to the right-hand-side of the page. This means there’s space on the left of the page for key selling points. I always like to include the most important selling points at the top-left – as that’s where the eye starts reading. Grab readers attention quickly and they may read on. Lose it, and you’ve lost your sale. I’d suggest that you try swapping the image to right-hand side of the page, while moving your main call to action box to the left.
Under the main image you’ll notice that the Lovefilm page contains three key selling points. I have no idea why three is a great number to choose, but it is. The ‘rule of three’ works in so many aspects of life that it’s not worth questioning why. It’s enough to know that your readers are more likely to consume information when it is written in groups of three. It was good enough for Julius Ceasar (veni, vidi, vici – I came, I saw, I conquered) two thousand odd years ago and still works today. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness anyone? I’d suggest trialling three selling points on your landing page. They’re likely to be easier to digest and, hopefully, will increase conversions.
Justin Deaville is Managing Director at UK-based digital marketing agency Receptional and was previously chief executive officer (CEO) at Wordtracker.com.
From Kurt Scholle, WebsiteSuccessCourse.com
Congratulations! This is a wonderful web page! I’m not sure I would change a thing.
Every web page has a ‘job,’ and the point of this site is obvious. The Orlando Vacation Store has Disney World Vacation Packages. A visitor will ‘get it’ within a few seconds.
The first impression is also enhanced by the smiling little girl under blue skies. An example of images conveying a great emotion.
The viewer is also drawn in by several offers of discounts. What’s not to like?
Every good web page needs a prominent Call To Action (CTA), which means it needs to be placed above the fold. Visitors have a somewhat familiar CTA in the upper right corner that allows them to check dates and specify the number of guests. The Start Now button makes an impact.
If I were to make any recommendations, they would be to move the bulleted benefits list above the fold. The use of the trust marks, Better Business Bureau, TrustWave, etc, helps with conversion rate. I would make sure they are on the order page.
I don’t think you’d necessarily want to increase the width of the page to help move content above the fold, but you could reduce the size of the images at the top of the page.
One final idea: consider moving your contact information above the fold, or simply put the chat link in the right side of the header.
Again, I think you’ve done a pretty job with this page!
From Karon Thackston (Me!) www.MarketingWords.com
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This is a colorful page with a lot going on. Love the image of the smiling girl in front of (what I think is) Cinderella’s castle. When the page first loaded, my eye immediately went to this cheerful picture. Then I bounced back up to the headline at the top of the page.
Here I got lost. I couldn’t find where the rest of the sentence was. I dropped down to the section that includes…
That didn’t really flow with what the headline was saying. It wasn’t until I made my way through the left side of the page and began looking at the right side that I found the second half of the sentence.
Was I confused enough to leave? No. But your headline made more sense once I had the complete picture. You may want to test moving the orange arrow and having it point downward from the headline to the box.
I would also test moving the mention of 30% off above the reservation box instead of below it. That seemed a bit backwards to me. Perhaps:
Change the headline to: Budget-Friendly Disney World Vacations
Then replace the “Then your vacation starts here” text above the box with “Save up to 30%. Check availability now.”
Trust indicators (such as the Trustwave and BBB icons) work better when they are placed beside the primary call-to-action. I’d test moving those to just under the reservation box.
I’d also test moving at least your telephone number into the top banner.
Stop We-ing All Over Yourself
The copy immediately below the fold should be written for your site visitors, not about your company. As it stands now, you are doing what I jokingly refer to as “we-ing all over yourself.” Visitors read “we are experienced travel…,” “we have provided…,” “take advantage of our…,” “all of our packages…,” “we are an Orlando based…” Everything is about you instead of being written for the visitor.
When it comes to copy, “you” is a much more powerful word than “we,” “us” or “our.”
The section at the bottom of the page is a bit more customer-focused, but still rather heavy with the use of “we,” “us” and “our.”
What’s more, the copy is very matter-of-fact. Vacations are about fun and letting go. I’d recommend adding some glimpses of what travelers can look forward to… something to help them conjure up visions of all the fun they will experience.
Search Engine Optimization (SEO)
While you have a great differentiator in your title tag (30% off), this copy is also company-focused. Instead of “Up to 30% Discount in all our Orlando Vacation Packages…” write “Up to 30% off Your Next Orlando Vacation Package…” However, since this page is about Disney packages, I’d change the title tag to be Disney specific and not mention the other attractions.
The keyphrase “Orlando vacation package(s)” is not carried through to the description tag. Yes, I know… Google says they don’t use the meta description tag for ranking purposes, but I’ve found evidence to the contrary so I always recommend using keywords here. If you change this to Disney vacation packages, that term would need to be carried through.
You’ve done a good job with combining the use of exact-match keyphrases with individual keywords and synonyms.
Overall, it’s a good-looking page. With such a competitive industry, I encourage you to continually test in order to get the highest possible conversion rate and rankings.
Karon Thackston is a Certified Landing Page Specialist. Looking for website pages that rank well and convert even better? Contact Karon today for business landing page copywriting or copywriting consulting and start getting results.